UnitedHealth’s 5000% Cancer Drug Markup Exposed Amidst CEO Murder Case
In a shocking revelation that’s sure to make your blood boil, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has exposed UnitedHealth’s outrageous 5000% markup on life-saving cancer drugs. This bombshell comes hot on the heels of the murder of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO, Brian Thompson, in a bizarre twist that’s set the healthcare world ablaze. As if the American healthcare system wasn’t already a dumpster fire, now we’ve got Big Pharma playing Monopoly with people’s lives while CEOs are getting whacked. Buckle up, folks – this story’s got more layers than a conspiracy theorist’s tinfoil hat collection.
The Great American Healthcare Heist
Let’s dive into this cesspool of corporate greed, shall we? UnitedHealth, America’s largest healthcare company and apparently aspiring supervillain, has been caught with its hand in the cookie jar – and by cookie jar, I mean the pockets of cancer patients. The FTC report reveals that this healthcare behemoth, along with its Pharmacy Benefit Manager (PBM) cronies, has been marking up critical medications for leukemia and prostate cancer by up to a jaw-dropping 5000%. That’s not a typo, folks – five thousand percent. It’s like they’re running a lemonade stand, except instead of lemonade, it’s life-saving drugs, and instead of cute kids, it’s soulless corporations.
But wait, there’s more! This isn’t just about UnitedHealth. The unholy trinity of PBMs – UnitedHealth’s Optum, CVS Health’s CVS Caremark, and Cigna’s Express Scripts – have been playing this game for years. From 2017 to 2022, these middlemen marked up drug prices by hundreds or thousands of percent, adding a cool $7.3 billion to their coffers. Because why stop at billions when you can squeeze out a few more bucks from desperate patients?
Murder Most Foul – A Twist in the Tale
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room – the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson. In a plot twist that would make John Grisham blush, Thompson was allegedly killed by one Luigi Mangione, who was found with a manifesto against UnitedHealthcare. Mangione has pleaded not guilty, but the manifesto speaks volumes about the public’s frustration with our broken healthcare system. It’s like a real-life game of Clue, except the victim is a healthcare CEO, the weapon is corporate greed, and we’re all losing.
This murder case has inadvertently shone a spotlight on the astronomical costs of medical care in the U.S. It’s almost poetic justice that as UnitedHealth was busy counting its billions, its CEO became a tragic figure in a debate about the very system he helped create. Talk about reaping what you sow.
The Numbers Don’t Lie (But Everyone Else Might)
Let’s break down these numbers, shall we? In 2022, cancer drugs Gleevec and Zytiga had the highest markups. Gleevec was marked up by a mind-boggling 5232%, while Zytiga wasn’t far behind at 2299%. To put that in perspective, if these drugs were houses, they’d make the real estate market in San Francisco look like a bargain bin at Walmart.
“The Big 3 PBMs marked up two specialty generic cancer drugs by thousands of percent and then paid their affiliated pharmacies hundreds of millions of dollars of dispensing revenue in excess of estimated acquisition costs for each drug annually.” – The FTC
But don’t worry, folks! The Pharmaceutical Care Management Association assures us that we’re just not seeing the big picture. According to them, we’re overlooking the PBMs’ cost-saving role. Because nothing says “cost-saving” like a 5000% markup, right?
The Great Healthcare Shell Game
Now, you might be wondering, “How on earth do they get away with this?” Well, my friends, welcome to the smoke and mirrors show that is the U.S. healthcare system. PBMs claim they’re the good guys, acting as intermediaries between insurance providers and pharmaceutical manufacturers to reduce consumer costs. It’s a bit like claiming you’re Robin Hood while wearing a Rolex and driving a Lamborghini.
“It’s clear this report again fails to consider the entirety of the prescription drug supply chain and makes sweeping assertions about the role of PBMs disconnected from a full appreciation of their critical cost-saving role for employers, unions, taxpayers, and patients.” – Pharmaceutical Care Management Association Vice President of Public Affairs Greg Lopes
Of course, the PBMs are crying foul. CVS Health and Cigna’s Express Scripts are disputing the report’s findings, claiming the data is misleading and not comprehensive. It’s the corporate equivalent of “The dog ate my homework,” except the dog is greed and the homework is basic human decency.
The Bottom Line
So, where does this leave us? The FTC is considering legal action, though they haven’t declared any illegal activities yet. It’s like watching a referee review a play in slow motion, except the game is rigged, the players are billionaires, and the losers are… well, all of us.
UnitedHealth, with its 2023 revenue of $372 billion (yes, that’s billion with a ‘b’), is now comparable in size to Apple. Except instead of iPhones, they’re selling the right to live. It’s the American Dream, folks – if your dream is to be a Bond villain.
In the end, this whole debacle is a stark reminder of how broken our healthcare system is. It’s a system where cancer patients are seen as cash cows, where CEOs become murder victims, and where the American public is left holding the bag. So the next time you hear someone defend this system, just remember – the only thing sicker than the patients are the profits.
